• Outdoor Coaching
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Whatever arises, Love that!

Posted on Sun October 27, 2019.

This blog forms part of a number of short stories where wilderness experiences can be found. They can serve you to remind that observing wilderness restores you, coaches you and inspires us to create your world, day in and day out.

This Blog is about love and doing what you love doing. It is inspired by the youth of the lowveld and their incredible energy overcoming obstacles they are faced with every day to follow their hearts and shape their future.

“The feedback was harsh, unconstructive and poised to be hurt-full” at the same time it offered a remarkable insight into my fellow-human being fears and frustrations. Indeed we all sometimes receive feedback that takes us by surprise and makes us doubt who we are and how we performed as a fellow human being a family member, a friend or as a colleague.
 
We all face sometimes difficult times in our life. Times where you feel pain, anger and fear.  It can be anger towards some-one else who mis-treated you. It can be caused by the fear of losing control of your life or fear of uncertainty. It can be simply that you are feeling alone and misunderstood. We all have times that we believe things are going the wrong way or that we are feeling stuck. We feel unhappy and frustrated. These difficult times and uncomfortable feelings are there for a reason. They lead us to where we need to go and into motion that was all along needed or very much necessary to happen.
There are many of us avoiding uncomfortable feelings and fears and we step into a trap. We become judgemental. We become that person that is always quick to judge others and telling them off. We have made it into an art finding “something wrong” with others. Even if the experience was overwhelmingly positive we then find something that proofs we are different or better. In this way you are always looking for a dis-perfection in the other, in a situation or even in ourselves. We become are our biggest critic and are often overwhelmed with anger and anxiety.
Guess what,… we can never find perfection as perfection is a every shifting target leading us into frustration, stress and tremendous levels of anxiety as we can never completely control the outcome of events. Life takes us sometimes for a ride and we have to simply hold on. Instead to focus on perfection, which entails a fixed image how things should be, we can choose here and now to change this. Instead we choose to focus on “loving-excellence”. Now that is a very different beast altogether as it is not fixed on a certain wished out-come nor on controlling a situation or other human being. Loving excellence focuses on doing the things you love doing and giving your best that you can be at that moment. We all experience moments that we might be tired or un-focused, still you can choose to give your very best that you can give. That might be at that time 75% and not 110%. Which is Ok. Allow this to sink in. We always believed only 110% is good enough.
When we get hit by others that blame you for their dis-comfort you can ask yourself one question; did I give my best at the time? When the answer is “Yes” then let the harsh, unconstructive and hurt-full feedback fall back to the place where it belongs; to the “blamer”. Then there is something to learn for the person who gave you the feedback as he or she is angry, scared and upset with something that they found in you and don’t want to face this themselves. The feedback simply doesn’t belong to you.
I found that the happiest times in my life where the times when I was loving the work what I was doing and was loving the place I was in, when I was teaching others, growing myself and giving back to others around me. I find that it is both healing and challenging for me to spend time with the youth of this wonderful area I live in. You will meet people who envy you for having this meaningful purpose in your life. See them for who they are. They are searching themselves. Have patience with them. Tell them about what you love doing and being.
I do meet wonderful people, full of ideas, energy and love for each-other. People that are out there to make a difference, people that are ready to help-each other. People who are not focused on finding and judging perfection in themselves or the others around them. They are not consumed by finding out where their next holiday will take them or in which restaurant they will have their next meal.

Let go of controlling your experiences, let go of anxiety and greet each moment of the day. Whatever arises, love that!